6 things that turns me off

We all have our turn-ons and turn-offs, what's a turn-on for me, is a turn-off for somebody else. But here's my 6 turn-offs when it comes to appearance.

1. Tans
   Especially fake-tans. Like a famous porn-star* once said : you shall not me more tanned than me. And also, you look like a fucking oompa loompa
2. Hair
   Too much hair, too little hair. I have a huge problem with hair. Hairy backs- yuck. Balding spots- Eww... Shaved legs - are you sure that you want to sleep with me, a girl? (Just need to put in: hairy feet... OMG! Disgusting!).
3. Noses
   I have a thing for noses... A want a nice nose, it can be big, small or bent... but if it doesn't fit your face I will have a hard time getting attracted to you...
4. Tattoos
   Ugly, weird, strange tattoos... I just find it hard to find a guy attractive if he has a tribal and is under 30. If you are 30, you are excused, we blame the 90's. But if I find an elf, *any country sign* or a badly executed tattoo on you, you're out of bed.
5. Piercings
   I have piercings, quite a few actually so I am not against them. But a guy that wants to sleep with me can not have a piercing in the following places: nose, lip, ear,belly-button, or penis. They can not have a anchor either. Because that a girl thing. A tongue piercing is ok though... for obvious reasons**.
6. Smells
   Same here as for the hair, too much, too little. I like my men to smell nice (because boys and guys have a way of either using too much or too little, while men use the perfect amount). A guy who doesn't do enough = stinks at the end of the day and I don't do sweat. A guy who uses too much will cause me to have an asthma attack... funny enough, is that not too many males out there knows the perfect amount... 

*Jenna Jameson (buy it here!)

** More on that later, but hint; it feel sooo good!

pic-sources:

oompa loompa, hair, nose, tattoo, piercing, smell