The smooth guy

A few weeks back I started talking to this guy, very nice and everything. It came to one weekend where he had told me he was gonna hang out with his friends and I had told him I had no clue what I was doing. At 8 pm he messages me this:

Wow...

I am not perfect, far from it, sometimes I use my back-up friends too, but I am slick about it!  Of course I called him on it, the answer? "Oh... shit, I am sorry! That was not my intention. I just really want to meet up with you because you are so cute" Miss Badoo ain't no back-up plan, you fool!

6 things that turns me off

We all have our turn-ons and turn-offs, what's a turn-on for me, is a turn-off for somebody else. But here's my 6 turn-offs when it comes to appearance.

1. Tans
   Especially fake-tans. Like a famous porn-star* once said : you shall not me more tanned than me. And also, you look like a fucking oompa loompa
2. Hair
   Too much hair, too little hair. I have a huge problem with hair. Hairy backs- yuck. Balding spots- Eww... Shaved legs - are you sure that you want to sleep with me, a girl? (Just need to put in: hairy feet... OMG! Disgusting!).
3. Noses
   I have a thing for noses... A want a nice nose, it can be big, small or bent... but if it doesn't fit your face I will have a hard time getting attracted to you...
4. Tattoos
   Ugly, weird, strange tattoos... I just find it hard to find a guy attractive if he has a tribal and is under 30. If you are 30, you are excused, we blame the 90's. But if I find an elf, *any country sign* or a badly executed tattoo on you, you're out of bed.
5. Piercings
   I have piercings, quite a few actually so I am not against them. But a guy that wants to sleep with me can not have a piercing in the following places: nose, lip, ear,belly-button, or penis. They can not have a anchor either. Because that a girl thing. A tongue piercing is ok though... for obvious reasons**.
6. Smells
   Same here as for the hair, too much, too little. I like my men to smell nice (because boys and guys have a way of either using too much or too little, while men use the perfect amount). A guy who doesn't do enough = stinks at the end of the day and I don't do sweat. A guy who uses too much will cause me to have an asthma attack... funny enough, is that not too many males out there knows the perfect amount... 

*Jenna Jameson (buy it here!)

** More on that later, but hint; it feel sooo good!

pic-sources:

oompa loompa, hair, nose, tattoo, piercing, smell

The cheesy one

All is good in love and war, right? NO! Hell to the no! Some guys can pull off the cheesy pickup lines, but most can't. You have to be extremely self-confident AND be able to do it in a cute way. Preferable at a bar after you've been talking to me for a while. And, I am not going to lie, if you are extremely good-looking it will be easier.  Most cases won't make the cut though, because cheesy pickup lines are mostly just awkward...

And also... he actually wrote that, grammar is the key, boys!

This is the kind of messages I don't respond to, because you can just tell that this is a spam message,we all know about copy-paste.....  but hey, he threw in a compliment and thats a plus.... oh, Badoo...

The over-confident

Before we start; sorry for the radio silence. Life came knocking on the door and I kind of lost my ambition to write and/or be on Badoo. But now I am back with more stories than ever.

So, a couple of weeks ago I received a message from a guy in his early twenties. Before I start, I wanna say that I like confidence, no, I love it. I am a little asshole so I want my fuckbuddy, bf, whatever to have be a little bit of an asshole too. Not in that way that he's mean, but I like confidence, a guy who can tell me he's awesome and smile gets me going in 2 seconds. I do the same and, it's fun! So nothing wrong with confidence, but, you can have the wrong kind of confidence...

Say what? Why would I find that attractive? I know that Badoo is a hook-up site, but come on! Don't make it so easy for me to tell you no. Oh, Badoo....